If you write your own fitness copy, you’re probably not a copywriting professional.
But first impressions still count, copywriter or not. When someone lands on your homepage or landing page or whatever, you’ve got less than 30 seconds to give them a reason to stick around.
So what better way to learn what works (and what doesn’t) than to look at fitness copywriting examples in the wild.
Quick note 1: it goes without saying (even though I’m saying it) that these are purely my professional opinions and absolutely nothing else!
Quick note 2: we may not always look strictly at the copy in the examples, as copy is only one part (albeit a large one) of how a web site or sales page works.
V-Shred is one of the big players in the fitness industry, and sells a wide range of programs, supplements, and clothing for men and women getting into shape.
- The homepage is set up to move people on to more important parts of the site (i.e. where the sales happen).
- The motivational slogan headline (though this webpage is not how they get most of their traffic; that comes through ads that drive people straight into their funnel)
- The copy is pretty basic – it serves a purpose, but is nothing to write home about
Sometimes it’s OK to be aggressive… if it’s part of your brand. Some of the copy on the V Shred homepage (such as under “Our Gift To You!”) doesn’t pull any punches.
28 BY SAM WOOD
Source: 28 By Sam Wood
Sam Wood is a well-known Aussie fitness celebrity, so it makes sense he has his own workout program.
- The page makes sure to spell out all the details about the program, so you’re unlikely to have any real questions holding you back from a decision.
- The copy doesn’t grab me – there’s little tone that makes it stand out.
- There’s little differentiation in the offer, design, or copy – it just feels like one fitness program amongst others (though Sam Wood is reasonably well known, which this page is clearly banking on).
The fitness market is a crowded one, so do your best to stand out! This doesn’t have to be with copy; a striking design or interesting offer might be all you need to break away from the pack.
FLEXXICORE PASSIVE EXERCISER
I wasn’t going to give up the chance to dive into the weird and wonderful world of exercise devices…
- Ummm… it’s grammatically correct, and not very long.
- The copy.
- The photo.
- Everything else.
If you write like this, I will find you… and hit you over the head with a toy hammer repeatedly.
Source: Quest Exchange
They have an interesting mix of products. On one hand, they sell personal health programs… and on the other, they promote cultural exchange study?
- Clean, simple design to the page.
- It spells out the offer very succinctly.
- The headline spells out the benefit (yes, this might seem basic… but you’d be surprised how many pages and sites don’t do this).
- Doesn’t go into enough detail about things like benefits, especially for a paid offer.
- Not much differentiation – how is this different to any other program or method out there?
This might perform better if it was a lead magnet or free offer. If you’re going to charge money (even just a few dollars), you need to work harder to convince people to pull out their wallet.
MARK MCILYAR FITNESS
Source: Mark McIlyar Fitness
Wanna be a “ripped grandpa”? Just follow this to get as shredded as dudes 10 or 20 years your junior.
- Nice hook that I’m confident reels in the target audience.
- The flow of the copy is logical and free of jarring transitions.
- This isn’t a bad sales letter! I could nitpick, but it spells out the benefits, invalidates the competition, puts credibility up-front, and lays out a pretty solid offer to the reader.
Sales letters like this are a very different beast to websites or social media. Even many experienced copywriters struggle to write these. While I’m all for business owners and entrepreneurs writing their own emails or websites, this might be one type of copy to outsource.
Source: Aqua Bag Boxing Challenge
Boxing is a great way to get fit… and here’s the perfect accessory to help you do that!
- The offer is more specific than just “get fit with exercise!”, so it stands out a little better.
- Attracts prospects who are more likely to buy with the boxing angle (i.e. anyone not interested in boxing will probably just leave, which is good).
- This landing page initially focuses on a free 5×5 boxing challenge, but then starts selling the Aqua Bag at the bottom of the page, which is confusing.
When you build a landing page, always focus on just ONE offer. Multiple offers (whether free or paid) just muddy the waters and leave visitors confused, so they’re less likely to take you up on anything.
Source: My Workouts
For anyone who’s sick of boring standard workouts… prepare for Premium Workouts!
- It’s not copy heavy, which can get in the way at times.
- The aspirational image which also doubles as proof, though this is almost mandatory.
- There’s some kind of qualification, which is a good way to call out your ideal audience (i.e. “people struggling to put on muscle”).
- It doesn’t do much to sell me on why I should take a closer look at these workouts beyond they’re “especially for people struggling to put on muscle”.
There’s nothing necessarily wrong with minimal copy here. But the fact I arrived onto this page “blind” (via an ad link) means I want a lot more information than what they’re giving. What’s a “Premium Workout”? What does it involve? Why is this different to other programs?
Source: Vedge Nutrition
Supplements are a huge part of the health and fitness industry, so let’s take a look at a couple of these businesses.
- The page design is nice.
- Beyond the “Pre-Workout & Nitro Pump”, there are no big copy chunks
- Wasting ad spend to push traffic to your homepage is often a crime, simply because your homepage is too general and doesn’t have a specific offer or action for visitors.
Try to avoid cliches. “The game has been officially changed” or “Your new favorite <WHATEVER>” is really just filler copy. Focus on putting your big benefits, why you’re different / better, and a bold promise front and centre.
Source: Arthur Andrew Medical
This business built a specific landing page to sell one of their enzyme supplements.
- Uses sophisticated language, which might be a deliberate choice to target more advanced “gym rats” who understand this terminology more than casual fitness buffs.
- Is this enough to convert cold traffic? Impossible to say, but it does feel a little light on to grab people brand new to the brand and supplement.
- Typos are understandable, but never a good look (“STANDARDDS”).
Tailor your language for your audience. If this choice of words was done deliberately, it’s a good call and will attract those advanced fitness heads more than generic copy might. However, if it was meant as more of a mass appeal product (still amongst the fitness crowd), the complexity of the copy might turn a lot of readers away.
Source: Trainquility Fitness
This super-fit, super-attractive couple offers custom fitness training plans and not-so-custom programs.
- The page design is pretty clean.
- The complimentary consultation is pretty common, but it does give people a safer way to explore the products before shelling out.
- Generic phrasing, such as “Become the Ultimate You” or a benefit like “Feeling your best”, is not persuasive copy.
If you repeat the same tired cliches every other fitness entrepreneur is spelling, it’s REALLY difficult to make yourself stand out.
Bonus tip! Repeating a weak headline twice at the top of the page does not make it any better.
As fun as it was to browse through these examples, it was also a little sobering. Too often, the “copywriting” in “fitness copywriting” feels almost like an afterthought. And while that may not be the case, these businesses leave money on the table by not investing in their marketing.
But if you can’t afford to do that, there are some important lessons you can still have in mind while putting together your own marketing. In fact, try to follow these three “golden rules”. Only one is copy-related, but they’re all equally important.
- Find a way to stand out from the crowd
- Use copy that highlights your difference or edge
- Good design makes a difference
And if you can do that, you’ll have a page you can be proud of (probably).
Struggling to Make Words Work For You?
You’re a fitness expert, not a copywriter. And great copy isn’t something you can learn in a couple of hours or in a single course. So, if you want to push your products or services out from the crowd of competition, let’s talk.